but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
They have beer where we have blood.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize