Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
