you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
