I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way