she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
