the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
