The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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