Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
