question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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