lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Boobs speak an international language.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
