He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
