I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
