You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
