did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize