yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Randomize