He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
