I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
