What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
