if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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