"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
