you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This house was built for laser tag.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i came on her dog
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
