I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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