I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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