You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize