Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
