i jhust puked up my retainher.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
