i think i have herpe
just one?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
