You're so nebulous sometimes
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
