Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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