I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize