he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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