This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
