i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize