I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
