Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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