Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize