She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
