I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize