quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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