But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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