Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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