he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
