you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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