I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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