also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
