Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it because I queefed?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize