This girl is more easily done than said...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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