Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
