everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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