there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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