There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
