it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Holy shit dude........stairs
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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