Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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