yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
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well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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