honey bunches of taint.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
