Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I enjoy the company of your penis
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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