Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
