why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
