During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
