I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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